The science of people: reviewing your expectations to avoid negativity

Last month, I was in France, meeting with a friend who is fighting cancer. He does not define himself as brave and I will quote him here

I am not brave, I am fighting for my life: if I don’t fight, I die…

Looking at it this way… you can’t disagree. He is not brave because he wants to… he just has to, there is no other way.

Now… since he has been diagnosed, he has relied on his family and friends for support, and he has been very upfront in communicating about his illness, and broadcasting news to us via Facebook about his progresses. In the meantime, he has also reviewed his expectations when it comes to people interactions:

I take every interactions as a bonus, I do not expect people to check on me everyday, I understand I am not the center of the world, others have their lives that come first.

He has learnt it the hard way, feeling sometimes disappointed when people were saying “Let’s have dinner soon” , “I’ll call you to check how you are doing” and nothing was happening…

He is not the only one in this case, we all have expectations that are somewhat too high when it comes to our friends and family. If these expectations are too high, and you define your happiness based on what you expect from other people… I’m sorry but you may end up very disappointed very often…

So move on now… Don’t depend on people to make you happy in life, you can be happy by yourself, and your friends and family inputs will help you to be even happier.

If you want more on that theme, check out the ‘I love me’ guide